It was twenty five years ago this week that I told my mom good bye for the last time. She was 51 years old and I was 33. She was too young to die and I was too young to lose my mom.
It is painful to think back on that week. Her death was unexpected and very tragic. I'll never forget the phone call that said I should call my siblings and the five of us should go to Indianapolis where she and Dad lived. It was a three hour drive and I prayed that she would still be alive when we got there. She was, and she lived for a few more hours after that. She knew we were there and the last thing she said to us was "I'm sorry."
I told her that it was okay, she didn't have anything to be sorry for. But she did and it took me years to forgive her. My grief over losing her was not resolved until i forgave her. and my real final goodbye could not be said until I forgave her.
If whe were alive today, she would be 76 today. it is difficult for me to think of her that old. In my mind, she will always be 51. That is younger than what I am today.
Since her death, her 5 children have grown old and most of us are grandparents. Her 14 grandchildren here are all adults now. two of them hadn't even been born yet when she died. She would have loved her great grandbabies. all 19 of them.
Today, i still feel sad that she is gone. There are days when I miss her a lot. But I know that one day, I will see her again and then there will be no more goodbyes.
No comments:
Post a Comment