The Health Benefits of Family
When I was a little girl, we had a plaque on
the dining room wall that said “The family that prays together, stays
together.”
In the many years since I was a
child I have learned there are other benefits of not only praying, but in
having a family.
Before we look into the benefits of
family though, we need to define family. In the “olden days” family was thought
to be people who were descended from a common ancestor. Then it was defined as
a group of people who were closely related by birth, marriage or adoption. Most
recently, the definition has been broadened to include “a group of people
living together and functioning as a single household.”
Through the years we have seen
different kinds of families on our television. There was the perfect family in
“Leave it to Beaver”, the extended family of “The Waltons”, the single parent
family of “Full House”, and the totally dysfunctional family of “Two and a Half
Men”. My
favorite family on TV now can be found in “The Middle.” I love the Heck family,
probably because they are most like mine…plain and simple, and most of the time
an absolute mess. They make me laugh every time I watch them.
From what I have observed, all of
these families have a few things in common. There is a lot of loving, fighting,
crying, playing, laughing and definitely some learning going on. When you look at that list, it’s easy to see
that family has some proven health benefits.
Feeling loved by others gives us a
sense of well-being. I have read that physical expressions of love, like
hugging will cause the production of oxytocin, a hormone sometimes call the
“cuddle chemical.” It helps us feel more like bonding socially to others and
has a potent effect on our cardiovascular system by lowering our blood
pressure.
A caring touch helps us both
physically and emotionally. When I went to “the old fashioned” kind of nurses
training we were taught that a five minute back rub for our patients would
probably result in their not needing a sleeping pill. It’s difficult for nurses
now to find the time to do that…too many patients, not enough nurses and more
sleeping pills.
For those of you who don’t have
another human to touch or be touched by, I would recommend a pet. When my
cockapoo, Lucy sits on my lap and looks at me with those brown eyes and licks
my hand, I feel loved.
I come from a family of criers. Yep
the real tears kind of crying. We cry when we’re happy, when we’re sad and when
we’re mad. And guess what I learned? We are healthier because we cry. Crying
helps in the release of negative emotions and is a natural way for our bodies
to cope with unwanted feeling of distress or fear.
Crying is known to lower stress
levels and when tears are shed, the endocrine system releases endorphins that help stabilize our
moods. I don’t know about you, but after I have a good cry I always feel
better. I’m glad I come from a family of criers; I can’t imagine keeping all my
emotions bottled up on the inside.
As
I mentioned earlier, one of the most common factors in most families is
fighting and arguing. The arguing and fighting my siblings and I did when we
were little taught us some valuable lessons. With three younger brothers, I
observed a fair amount of physical rumbling and tumbling when they were little.
They used that experience to go on to be excellent wrestlers in high school. We
learned there are appropriate ways express any negative feeling we have.
My little sister taught me that fighting
verbally can usually end in compromise. We had to share a room and she was
constantly into my things. Do I need to
say more? I’m so glad she has forgiven me for all the yelling I did when she
was six and I was sixteen.
But
it isn’t the fighting I remember most. It was the playing and the laughter. We
were one of those families who didn’t have a television and at the time I
thought we were horribly deprived. Now, as I look back I know we were probably
better off without one because we learned to play together and entertain each
other.
And
playing and entertaining usually resulted in laughter that has proven health benefits.
Laughter
relaxes the whole body.
A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles
relaxed for up to 45 minutes after. It;s believed that laughter will boost the
immune system by decreasing the stress hormones and increasing immune cell and
infection fighting antibodies.
Laughter
also triggers the release of endorphins, chemicals that promote the overall
sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain. Laughter
protect our hearts by improving the function of blood vessels and
increasing blood flow, which can help protect us against a heart attack and
other cardiovascular problems.
I
talked to a lady once who was diagnosed with cancer and in addition to
treatment the doctors offered her, she decided treat her self with laughter.
She went out and rented the funniest movies she could find and watched one
every day. Last time I talked to her, she was cancer free. She seems to think
the laughter helped her, not only emotionally but physically too.
Spending
time with family, whether you are blood related or not, gives us a sense of
being connected and helps us to keep the focus off ourselves and on to others.
Self absorption is emotionally damaging but focusing on others and giving to them
brings us joy. Reaching out to others not only helps them, it helps us too.
So
during this holiday season, I hope you have been able to get together with
family…it doesn’t matter whether they are biological or chosen as long as they are people
who you can connect with, laugh with and maybe even cry with. It will be
beneficial to your health.
© 2012 Brenda J. Young R.N. CHPN
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