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Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Published in Dec. 2013 "Boomers Today"


The Health Benefits of Family

             When I was a little girl, we had a plaque on the dining room wall that said “The family that prays together, stays together.”

            In the many years since I was a child I have learned there are other benefits of not only praying, but in having a family.

            Before we look into the benefits of family though, we need to define family. In the “olden days” family was thought to be people who were descended from a common ancestor. Then it was defined as a group of people who were closely related by birth, marriage or adoption. Most recently, the definition has been broadened to include “a group of people living together and functioning as a single household.”

            Through the years we have seen different kinds of families on our television. There was the perfect family in “Leave it to Beaver”, the extended family of “The Waltons”, the single parent family of “Full House”, and the totally dysfunctional family of “Two and a Half Men”.                    My favorite family on TV now can be found in “The Middle.” I love the Heck family, probably because they are most like mine…plain and simple, and most of the time an absolute mess. They make me laugh every time I watch them.

            From what I have observed, all of these families have a few things in common. There is a lot of loving, fighting, crying, playing, laughing and definitely some learning going on.  When you look at that list, it’s easy to see that family has some proven health benefits.

            Feeling loved by others gives us a sense of well-being. I have read that physical expressions of love, like hugging will cause the production of oxytocin, a hormone sometimes call the “cuddle chemical.” It helps us feel more like bonding socially to others and has a potent effect on our cardiovascular system by lowering our blood pressure.

            A caring touch helps us both physically and emotionally. When I went to “the old fashioned” kind of nurses training we were taught that a five minute back rub for our patients would probably result in their not needing a sleeping pill. It’s difficult for nurses now to find the time to do that…too many patients, not enough nurses and more sleeping pills.

            For those of you who don’t have another human to touch or be touched by, I would recommend a pet. When my cockapoo, Lucy sits on my lap and looks at me with those brown eyes and licks my hand, I feel loved.

            I come from a family of criers. Yep the real tears kind of crying. We cry when we’re happy, when we’re sad and when we’re mad. And guess what I learned? We are healthier because we cry. Crying helps in the release of negative emotions and is a natural way for our bodies to cope with unwanted feeling of distress or fear.

            Crying is known to lower stress levels and when tears are shed, the endocrine system releases endorphins that help stabilize our moods. I don’t know about you, but after I have a good cry I always feel better. I’m glad I come from a family of criers; I can’t imagine keeping all my emotions bottled up on the inside. 

            As I mentioned earlier, one of the most common factors in most families is fighting and arguing. The arguing and fighting my siblings and I did when we were little taught us some valuable lessons. With three younger brothers, I observed a fair amount of physical rumbling and tumbling when they were little. They used that experience to go on to be excellent wrestlers in high school. We learned there are appropriate ways express any negative feeling we have.

             My little sister taught me that fighting verbally can usually end in compromise. We had to share a room and she was constantly into my things.  Do I need to say more? I’m so glad she has forgiven me for all the yelling I did when she was six and I was sixteen.  

            But it isn’t the fighting I remember most. It was the playing and the laughter. We were one of those families who didn’t have a television and at the time I thought we were horribly deprived. Now, as I look back I know we were probably better off without one because we learned to play together and entertain each other.

            And playing and entertaining usually resulted in laughter that has proven health benefits.

            Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after. It;s believed that laughter will boost the immune system by decreasing the stress hormones and increasing immune cell and infection fighting antibodies.

            Laughter also triggers the release of endorphins, chemicals that promote the overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.  Laughter protect our hearts by improving the function of blood vessels and increasing blood flow, which can help protect us against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems.

            I talked to a lady once who was diagnosed with cancer and in addition to treatment the doctors offered her, she decided treat her self with laughter. She went out and rented the funniest movies she could find and watched one every day. Last time I talked to her, she was cancer free. She seems to think the laughter helped her, not only emotionally but physically too.

            Spending time with family, whether you are blood related or not, gives us a sense of being connected and helps us to keep the focus off ourselves and on to others. Self absorption is emotionally damaging but focusing on others and giving to them brings us joy. Reaching out to others not only helps them, it helps us too.

            So during this holiday season, I hope you have been able to get together with family…it doesn’t matter whether they are biological or chosen as long as they are people who you can connect with, laugh with and maybe even cry with. It will be beneficial to your health.

© 2012 Brenda J. Young R.N. CHPN

 

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