Sharing something my youngest daughter wrote. She's off on a new adventure....and so am I, foster grandbabies!
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”
by Cari Young Kost on Friday, August 31, 2012 at 3:08pm ·
Surrogacy—and idea planted by God, brought about in a way different than I expected (but then again, His plans are always better than my plans anyway), and one family forever changed.
I can remember it like it was yesterday, when in all actuality, it was five years ago already. It was the summer of 2007, and I was a new mom. In April, I had given birth to my first child… “Jack Wyatt Kost” as he will introduce himself to you. This child changed me. He is the one who made my long-time dream of becoming a mother a reality. This firstborn child of mine captured my heart the second he was placed in my arms. I love him to the moon and back, even on the days when his now five-year-old-strong-willed-self tests me to my max. Even in these challenging moments, I know what a little miracle he is. My own special gift from God. I treasure every minute that the good Lord allows me to be his mom…especially because I know how coveted the title “mom” is by so many women praying for that same dream to come true—a chance for someone to call them mom too.
Speaking of moms, one of the ways I enjoyed my twelve-week maternity leave after Jack was born was taking long walks with my own mom and my new son. We were walking down Williams Rd. near her house like we had many times before…more times than I can count, more conversations than I can recall. But on this one particular day in the summer of 2007, we had a conversation that stuck in my head and heart. It was a conversation about surrogacy of all things. My mom was telling me about her coworker’s wife who was being a surrogate for another family. This, of course, got our minds to asking the question, “Could I ever do that? Could I ever carry a baby in my womb knowing it wasn’t mine and I’d have to give it up one day?” The internal battle was strong, but we both agreed that we couldn’t think of a more amazing gift you could give another couple on this earth. A chance to be called “mom” and “dad” like our son had done for my husband and me. Looking at my sweet, little bundle that day so cozy in his stroller, I knew how blessed I was. I remember thinking to myself “To be able to give someone a gift like him…it would be priceless!” The seed was planted!
Two years ago in June 2010 (three years after this initial conversation) it entered my mind again. I seriously thought about the idea of being a surrogate. My husband was unemployed at the time, and I was working full-time & missing my own babies like crazy (I had a little baby girl at home now too!). I was thinking I needed something to keep my focus off myself & my own problems…something that would allow me to feel good about life again & make a huge difference in the lives of others. I knew I wanted to be used by God in a big way, but I still wasn’t quite sure how that would play out. For whatever reasons, it never came to pass, but the thoughts of surrogacy were still in the back of my mind as a possibility…someday. God’s timing is always perfect.
Now here it is August 5, 2012, and John & I just finished our last training session in the process of getting licensed to be foster parents. I see God’s plan starting to unfold in a way I hadn’t expected, but then again, His ways are always better than ours, amen? Well, I don’t know if I’ll ever be a surrogate mom in the “traditional” sense of the word—if it’s even possible for the term ‘surrogate’ to be traditional. J But hopefully soon God will be allowing me the chance to still be a surrogate mom. In my prior thoughts, being a surrogate mom meant giving another couple the gift of a much-desired baby. In God’s plan, the gift of surrogacy is for the little ones. He is providing the opportunity to be a surrogate mom to innocent young children who need a mother-figure in their lives—one who will show them affection, nurturing, discipline, structure, stability, unconditional love, and a chance to just be a kid. When the idea was planted five years ago, could I have imagined it unfolding the way it has? Never. But again—His ways are always better than ours. Now I await the phone call to be a mother figure to a child (or children) who need one. And whether it will be temporary or permanent, I do not know. I do know this though—a chance to be a ‘surrogate’ (AKA foster mom) will result in these kids leaving a forever footprint on my heart. And I can trust that no matter the outcomes, God is in control—and His plans are always better than ours.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
*We now have a plaque hanging on the wall in our mudroom that says "A Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with One Step." Below it we have lots of family pictures...can't wait to see whose picture will be added next!!
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